Another Day, Another Dollar, Maybe

I gotta say I am really tired of beating my brains against the wall trying to pay bills. I work a 40 hour week, but by the time I get the check and the state and federal governments take their cut off the top there is not enough left to be bothered with. I do not have a pool, a fancy deck, a grill, or even a fancy home. All of 980 square feet is plenty. I do subscribe to satellite TV, electric service and propane for heat. I have a land line to support my computer Internet, but leave long distance to cell phone use. I do have a washer and dryer, but I also live in the country where the closest laundromat is over 10 miles away (and so is everything else for that matter). I use the dryer only occasionally and mostly hang my laundry to dry in a line outside (upside - cheap dryer bill, downside - bee stings in the rear of jeans if you do not turn them inside out and shake). Since my daughter moved out I find I eat a lot more sandwiches and easy foods, not necessarily a balanced diet. I have turned the heat down to 60 degrees so I now wear my outdoor insulated work clothes to function inside the house. I function in the dark for the most part to avoid turning on lights. At night if I have to see I use a battery operated light that you buy to attach to a wall as a portable light. It uses 3 AAA batteries and lasts longer than a flashlight. I just do not know how to spread my $8.25 a hour wage any thinner. I do have animals, I end up with them because other people bring them because they can't afford to keep them. I guess I am done with accepting them. I can't afford the expense of going non profit, and I am beginning to feel like I am being taken advantage of.

I have read some books on frugal living, and I leave those reads in laughter because living frugally is a step up from where I am at. I do like the job I currently have, I just wish I could earn a living wage at it. Even waitress gets tips to add to his/her minimum wage. They do offer a "bonus" at Christmas time...last year it covered my electric bill for the month.

I am grateful as I said to be employed, as so many are not, I am also grateful that my home is paid for other than the 2 yearly rent payments I have to make in order to keep it - school taxes and property taxes. I am grateful for my improving health, and the improving health of my family members who have been faced with extreme challenges as of late. I am also grateful for the possessions I do have, no matter how outdated and worn out they are, my vehicles for example. My car runs great with the engine light on all the time, and my 4-wheel drive does not run worth a damn but works good to use as the tractor I do not have to move stuff around the property. I am grateful that I can breath today even though I am having a lot of trouble taking a deep breath, and at times feel like I am drowning because I just can't get air in (my Nurse practitioner ignores my complaints of this problem, so I guess it must be all in my head). And finally I am grateful I woke up today because I sometimes feel that breathing is just to much work and one of these nights I will actually fall into a deep sleep and forget to force my chest to expand.

Some days keeping up with staying behind is just to much for my depleting energy level....So as it goes....
Deb